Game Overview
Ever met Earth’s loneliest watermelon? Meet Hans, an immortal being birthed from a bizarre twist of science, and left behind when humanity embarked for the stars. Hans isn’t just a refreshing summer snack. He’s a melon with dreams, ambitions, and a bounce that defies his juicy constitution. In “Hans”, you’ll roll alongside our intrepid fruit as he navigates a world that’s gone quite mad. Skyscrapers defy gravity, forests levitate, cars take flight, and amidst it all, Hans? He’s just trying to keep it together, one bounce at a time. Here’s the twist: Hans is all physics. Every roll, every leap, every desperate cling to a floating platform is governed by the merciless laws of momentum and mass. Think you’re maneuvering a regular character like in other games? Or perhaps grabbing those flying platforms with human hands? Think again. You’re guiding a watermelon with a will of its own. Hans is your spherical, seed-filled challenge. But here’s where things get juicy. Those bouncy bollards you see? They want you to fail and they’re just the beginning. Prepare to grapple with rotating platforms that’ll spin Hans in all directions, cannons with a penchant for melon-launching, and wrecking balls that have a very personal vendetta against our pulpy protagonist. Each obstacle is a testament to your skill, patience, and perhaps a little bit of your sanity. This isn’t the Wonderland, and you’re certainly not Alice. Expect to lose progress, over and over. The world is unforgiving, and Hans? He’s resilient but he relies on you.
Features to Feast On:
- Reflex Mastery: Control your reflexes, and get ready to roll with precision.
- Physics Face-off: Challenge against the relentless physics. Every roll and leap is a testament to momentum and mass.
- Tread Carefully: There’s no save button here. Every move counts, so tread with care.
- Dynamic Soundtrack: The music evolves as you ascend to higher platforms, setting the tone for your journey.
- Fall, Learn, Roll Again: The more you flop, the more melon wisdom you gain. Before you know it, you’ll be rolling like a pro… or at least, a more experienced watermelon enthusiast.
- Treacherous Terrain: Navigate through challenging platforms like rotating discs, slippery slopes, and bouncy barriers — all conspiring for your downfall.
- Slow-Mo Mastery: Manipulate time to navigate tough spots and perfect your jumps.
- Customize Your Roll: Discover chests scattered around the map to change Hans’s look. Roll in style!
- Race Against Time: Challenge your friends with an integrated timer. Aim to be the swiftest melon in the universe!
Installation Instructions
- Click the green button below to be redirected to UploadHaven.com.
- Wait 15 seconds, then click on the “free download” button. Allow the file transfer to complete (note that speeds may be slower with the free plan; upgrading to UploadHaven Pro will increase speeds).
- Once the transfer is complete, right-click the .zip file and select “Extract to Hans” (To do this you must have 7-Zip, which you can get here).
- Open the folder that you just extracted and run the game as administrator.
- Enjoy the game! If you encounter any missing DLL errors, check the Redist or _CommonRedist folder and install all necessary programs.
Download Links
Download the full version of the game using the links below.
🛠 Easy Setup Guide
- Check for missing DLL files: Navigate to the
_Redistor_CommonRedistfolder in the game directory and install DirectX, Vcredist, and other dependencies. - Use 7-Zip to extract files: If you receive a “file corrupted” error, re-download and extract again.
- Run as Administrator: Right-click the game’s executable file and select “Run as Administrator” to avoid save issues.
💡 Helpful Tips
- Need installation help? Read our full FAQ & Troubleshooting Guide.
- Antivirus False Positives: Temporarily pause your antivirus software during extraction to prevent it from mistakenly blocking game files.
- Update GPU Drivers: For better performance, update your NVIDIA drivers or AMD drivers.
- Game won’t launch? Try compatibility mode or install missing DirectX updates.
- Still getting errors? Some games require updated Visual C++ Redistributables. Download the All-in-One VC Redist Package and install all versions.
❓ Need More Help?
Visit our FAQ page for solutions to frequently asked questions and common issues.
System Requirements
- OS: Windows 7
- Processor: Dual Core 2.4GHz
- Memory: 2 GB RAM
- Graphics: GTX 260 / Radeon 530
- Storage: 1 GB available space
Screenshots
